The Happiest Boy

May 29, 2011

This week my Monday spiraled out of control.  I took Evan to the first day of his evaluations for the school system.  These are done while a group of 5-6 kids participates in two days of pre-school classes.  The speech and occupational therapist, as well as a school psychologist evaluate the children through the morning. 

Eager mother that I am, I arrived 20 minutes early.  As the other children arrived, Evan came and sat on my lap.  He made his usual happy and excited noises.  Of course, the other children (who are also developmentally delayed) were all talking.  I saw the parents looking askance at us and I knew what they were thinking. 

Perhaps my son (or daughter) isn’t as behind as I thought! 

And, of course, I was thinking:

Wow, he’s so much further behind than I thought!

Obviously, discouragement was knocking on my door. 

When I arrived home that evening, I got the mail and opened a large, letter envelope from the organization First Steps.  First Steps completed Evan’s yearly evaluation last week and I knew these were the results.  There are five developmental areas listed in their evaluation: gross motor skills, fine motor skills, social, communication/language and cognitive.  The rating scale spans from -20 (severly delayed) to zero (developing normally).   When I saw the scale, I groaned internally. 

Can we not evaluate this like movies – 5 stars for developing normally and 1 star for delayed!  At least he would be getting stars instead of NEGATIVE numbers!! 

Sighing, I proceeded to the next page which detailed Evan’s scores.

-20 Cognitive, -20 Social, -15 Language, -9 Fine Motor Skills and developing normally in gross motor skills.

At least he can be a professional athelete.

I was fairly close to despair.  Wishing and longing, yet again, for ABA therapy – the most effective ‘treatment’ for autism. 

I went to bed and dreamed that I was a secret agent chasing down ABA therapists (have to love that subconscious mind, right?).

The next morning, I woke up and light was streaming through the blinds and making my covers warm.  I smiled a little bit and thought about God bringing joy in the morning.  As I was lying there, I felt God speaking to me.  He was telling me to forget about my circumstances for today.  So I determined that I wouldn’t pray, think or talk about my circumstances for the rest of the day. 

During my bath, I read a book about strengthening myself in God.  It detailed the effects of negative thinking.  In life, there is always a struggle.  If we focus on these struggles, then they consume us.  If we focus on God, then He consumes us.  Hmmm….

Consumed by God vs. Consumed by Struggle. 

I choose God. 

On my way to Evan’s evaluation, I worshiped, instead of thinking about all of our struggles.  It was an awesome time and I had a feeling that God was ‘consuming’ me.

We arrived about five minutes early and most of the other kids were there as well.  Another little boy in the evaluations started jumping up and down. 

Mom, Mom!  He’s cool!!!

I looked around, thinking he was talking about someone else only to discover that Evan was the only other boy there.  I smiled.  The boy ran over and said hi to Evan.  Evan smiled.  Then, the little boy looked up at me and I’m sure I’ll never forget his words.

He’s my friend.

As I walked back out to the car, I was misty-eyed.  I knew God was consuming me now.  I was filled with joy for the first time in so long.

The sun was shining.

I went grocery shopping (and found some amazing deals on grass-fed beef!).  When I returned to pick Evan up, the school psychologist was holding his hand.  The other children were running to their parents and Evan followed them, even though he hadn’t seen me.  This was monumental since he rarely imitates other children.  I knelt down and he saw me.  Made eye contact.  And gave me one of the best hugs. 

As I stood up, the school pyschologist walked over.  I asked her how things had gone.  She said he did well and told me about the conference for his Individualized Education Plan (IEP) in June.  I said goodbye and started to walk away, but she grabbed my arm.  I turned around to face her and she put her hand on my shoulder. 

I just want to tell you that Evan is one of the happiest boys I have seen in years. You should be commended.

To which I replied:

No, God Should Be Commended!

Today, I was glad that God reminded me of my circumstances.

I write this as my day is drawing to a close and am reminded of my favorite poem, which continually reminds me of why I love God and the music He helps me to create.  It is by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  It was introduced to me by one of my eighth grade teachers, Roberta Hite, who, I believe, may have read this blog a time or two (and certainly deserves a shout out for the many students she has produced with a love for writing). I wonder if she will remember this poem from one of our school books!

The Day Is Done

The day is done, and the darkness

Falls from the wings of Night,

As a feather is wafted downward

From an eagle in his flight.

I see the lights of the village

Gleam through the rain and the mist,

And a feeling of sadness comes o’er me

That my soul cannot resist:

A feeling of sadness and longing,

That is not akin to pain,

And resembles sorrow only

As the mist resembles the rain.

Come, read to me some poem,

Some simple and heartfelt lay,

That shall soothe this restless feeling,

And banish the thoughts of day.

Not from the grand old masters,

Not from the bards sublime,

Whose distant footsteps echo

Through the corridors of Time.

For, like strains of martial music,

Their mighty thoughts suggest

Life’s endless toil and endeavor;

And to-night I long for rest.

Read from some humbler poet,

Whose songs gushed from his heart,

As showers from the clouds of summer,

Or tears from the eyelids start;

Who, through long days of labor,

And nights devoid of ease,

Still heard in his soul the music

Of wonderful melodies.

Such songs have power to quiet

The restless pulse of care,

And come like the benediction

That follows after prayer.

Then read from the treasured volume

The poem of thy choice,

And lend to the rhyme of the poet

The beauty of thy voice.

And the night shall be filled with music

And the cares, that infest the day,

Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,

And as silently steal away.

Evan’s Escapades

January 3, 2011

Today marked the 24 hour time mark for the GFCFSF diet.  Evan seems to like most of the food, except the rice milk.  I am thinking of taking the unopened cartons back to the store and purchasing some Coconut and Hemp milk.  There are some good recommendations for those in the GFCF Kids yahoo group.  This morning I noted increased eye contact and jargon.  He also had more purposeful play.  For instance, he strung three trains together and moved them along the rails.  He seemed to be really enjoying himself!  Then, when the occupational therapist arrived, he didn’t cry and seemed ‘ready’ for therapy.  Usually, there is a large transition between play and therapy  that consists of crying and hugging until Evan is soothed.  It has been very rocky!  This is, word-for-word, how the therapist described today’s session:

“Evan did not cry today!  Was able to begin therapy session without tears.  Seen in family living area.  Evan appropriately answered ‘no’ to therapists questions 2 times.  He said ‘yes’ to rolling on ball, being ‘squished’ by ball 2x near end of session.  He gave eye contact more frequently on lap/near therapist…”

I hope this was not some fluke and the GFCFSF diet is clearing the fog around Evan so he can enjoy life!