Some Thanksgiving

August 4, 2011

All I have to say is that things are looking up! In the last month, we have had so many blessings! Here are just a few:

  • I got a new job on the mother/baby unit, which is a much happier place than the ER!  I miss the hustle and bustle of the ER, but I know God has brought me to this new unit for a reason.
  • Jesse got a job! When they offered him the position, they actually offered more than was originally budgeted for the position – because they liked him so  much!
  • My sister-in-law has watched the kids for a few weeks until the first paychecks arrive!  GOD BLESS HER!
  • We found a wonderful lady, experienced with children who have autism, to watch the girls permanently and then Evan as needed. She even helped us fill our the Autism Waiver for medicaid!
  • With both of us working, we quickly realized that we needed another car. Of course, we also quickly realized that we couldn’t afford one for at least a few months. A week later, my mother broke her arm (which is definitely NOT a blessing). However, it just so happened that we could use her car for about a month. Then, my brother offered to sell his nice, newer car to her inexpensively. This, in turn, allowed her to sell us her old vehicle at a price that we can afford. If we had bought a car at that price anywhere else it would be completely unreliable. However, we know this vehicles history – it has a brand new engine and clutch and is in great shape!
  • Lastly, I received a call from the benefits department at St. Vincent, where I work. They will begin covering ABA therapy in 2012. This is a huge financial blessing for us! 

In January, a good friend of ours prayed for us after church. He told us that God was going to restore us. I remember being so encouraged and at the same time wondering what it would be like to feel ‘blessed’. I always new that I was blessed. I have an incredible family AND an incredible God. Yet, things have been so tough for so long…I had forgotten what blessing feels like.

It feels good! *Smile*

Yet, I would never trade the last several years in for anything, because now I enjoy the presence of God. I love Him so much and He has been with me every step of the way. I guess I know that even if things weren’t looking up – He and I would be in the same place – together.

And that is the greatest blessing of all.

Psalm 16 

1Keep me safe, O God,
      for I have come to you for refuge.

 2 I said to the Lord, “You are my Master!
      Every good thing I have comes from you.”
 3 The godly people in the land
      are my true heroes!
      I take pleasure in them!
 4 Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods…

 5 Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
      You guard all that is mine.
 6 The land you have given me is a pleasant land.
      What a wonderful inheritance!

 7 I will bless the Lord who guides me;
      even at night my heart instructs me.
 8 I know the Lord is always with me.
      I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

 9 No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.
      My body rests in safety.
 10 For you will not leave my soul…
 11 You will show me the way of life,
      granting me the joy of your presence
      and the pleasures of living with you forever.

 

He sees me…

June 30, 2011

As I sat on the train with Arianna, she smiled and commented on the things we were passing.  Every now and then she would say something to Thomas – the train we were riding.  It was completely adorable.  In reality, we were about 10 passenger cars back from Thomas the Train.  Even if he was alive and capable of listening, he would not be able to hear my daughter telling him about the farms and cows we were passing.  Yet, she persisted and in delight babbled for the full 20 minutes of our ride. 

Following the train ride, we walked to down to Thomas for some pictures.  Thomas was, of course, being swarmed by a throng of three and four-year-olds.  Some were screaming ‘THOMAS’ at the top of their lungs.  Others were jumping up and down just to get a glimpse of the large, blue train with a smiling face.  Parents were trying to chorale their children into the line being formed for overpriced ‘Pictures of Thomas’.  A group of boys was eagerly pushing their way to the front so they could touch him. 

I looked at my precious daughter who calmly held my hand and looked up at Thomas with wonder in her face. 

Do you want to see him closer or go up and touch him, honey?

I asked her the question twice, the second time around she responded with:

No, He sees me.

In that moment, with pulsing enthusiasm all around us, I felt a stillness come over the two of us.  As she ‘basked’ in the presence of Thomas, I was struck by her ability to tune the rest of the world out and focus on him.  I was also moved – by the Holy Spirit.

I looked at my child, staring in awe, and realized the value God found in this moment.  Certainly, she was not worshipping God at that moment, but there was a glimpse of her potential, her destiny.  While others were frantic to get a glimpse of him, to touch him, to memoralize the moment with an overpriced picture – my daughter was simply content to be in his presence. 

And then her words hit me with an even greater impact. 

He sees me.

I smiled and tears filled my eyes as I felt the presence of God rush over me. 

He sees me.

We don’t have to be elaborate to get His attention.  We don’t have to wait in line.

He sees us.

Certainly, we all have different ways of relating to Him.  There is nothing wrong with those trying to touch Him in the crowd or those waving their arms at Him.  As long as they know that He sees them. Our ways of relating to Him are unique as those found in that vibrating crowd.  And He sees each of us. 

Which brings me to my little guy, whom the world views as odd.  My little guy who has trouble relating to others.  My greatest worry through all of this has been how his relationship with God will unfold – whether it will unfold.  In that moment with my daughter and Thomas the train, I knew something without a doubt.

God sees him.

The stillness and peace, the wonder I was feeling at that moment is all possible for Evan.  And guess what?

He sees you too.